Talking

September 5, 2009 by Nick Wealthall

Nick Wealthall I’m not into rules. In fact I slap the face of rules and stamp on the fingers of regulators. I’m a middle class rebel with a healthy disrespect for authority. If you come at me with rules I’ll…. um… politely question them in a semi-forceful manner. Of course poker has no rules – there are several conventions and there’s the TDA rules but it still doesn’t have a universally applied set of rules like golf. Frankly this is a good thing – poker is about rebellion, shooting angles and a degree of quiet anarchy not strictly enforced codes.

The problem is once something grows it grows bureaucracies with it and people who can have a greater impact on the game by formalising it than they can by actually playing. And these people always have the upper hand because those of us that don’t like rules are by definition a bit bloody lazy…- in my best New York college kid accent (which sounds exactly like me trying to slur my words a bit but still sounding like me) ‘I don’t like it but…meh whaddaya gonna do aboud id?’

And so it has gone in recent years with the rule makers increasingly restricting the freedom poker players have at the table. Nowhere has this been more evident than in things like speech play and card showing which used to be part of a good players arsenal at the table. Increasingly led mainly by the WSOP what you can say and do ahs been limited and I have absolutely no idea why. To paraphrase Mike Caro – you can stop talking at the table but then you’re not playing poker it’s a different game. Apparently rules like not being able to show a card or talk about your hand are either to protect players or to protect the integrity of the game or some such guff. Well I’m sorry but you’re just protecting weak players from strong live players and well the game doesn’t need integrity it’s poker for Christ’s sake. As long as there’s no collusion let people say and do what they want and let the other guy figure it out. Let the players draw pictures and do the ‘I’ve got the Jack of Clubs’ dance if they like; it’s their hand after all.

Or let’s put it another way – do you seriously think poker is where it is today if it had started out with 8 human ciphers sitting round a table making their optimal 3 bet shoves and staring blankly at the felt before doing an monosyllabic exit interview where they explain that in a vacuum their play was hugely plus ev? No these people got into poker because it’s cool because Paul Newman said ‘sometimes nothing is a pretty cool hand’ and because Teddy KGB said, ‘yourrrrree right I don’t chav spades’. Take the talking and the acting out and general naughtiness out of poker and you take away its heart.

I was reminded of this when I played live recently for the first time this year at the Virgin poker festival in Newcastle. It’s sad that I don’t play live too much anymore but that feeling of time slowing down to a plodding blur is hard to deal with these days. The tournament was really well structured and run but my ADD online self can’t bear it. After a few minutes I was discussing with another player whether you’re allowed to take laptops to live tournies (anyone know?) – so of course I started talking. I probably broke several TDA rules during the course of my afternoon’s drivel but I think everyone at the table would describe me as there new best friend (that’s ironic was it obvious? – Microsoft word really needs an irony font).

My endless preppy chatter worked for and against me. In one particular hand it really worked – early on I luck boxed my way into the nut full house. The flush card had come on the turn which also boated me up right nice and the way the hand had played out it was pretty obvious my opponent now had trips on a board he could almost never be good against any other legitimate hand. I checked the river hoping he’d bet which, after some thought he did. I started chatting before announcing ‘I’m pretty sure you have a good hand but you don’t seem sure so I don’t think you can call this’ and splashed my remaining chips in the pot as an overbet. He asked me what I had and I continued the ‘I’m a big bully act’; ‘it doesn’t matter what I have because you’re not calling, it’s too big a call for you with just trips.’ Now this is a situation where I should never ever get paid off. His hand was too weak to bet let alone call a check raise. The thing is everyone at the table knew what was happening – if there’d been a 4 deep watching throng they’d have known too. While he thinks it’s time for me to look like I’ve been rumbled – shut down, purse the lips, swallow; ‘all the old school stuff that would never play in the city’. In the heat of the moment with me looking super weak my opponent did what he knew he shouldn’t and called. If the hand had been played online I would never have got his stack.

Later on my chat would work against me too as I talked my way out of a call from a guy after seeming far too strong; so my chat probably ended up being only slightly plus ev! The bottom line is talking during hands probably isn’t the smartest move but it’s an essential part of the game and a great way to make new friends (irony font…seriously).