Poker Training Day

Shalom baby. Do you remember how you learned to play this great game? I barely do, so lost in years of decadence have the beginnings of this habit become. I know I taught myself from a book and watching old people play in Vegas. There’s no doubt how you learn has a big effect on how you play. In my case it turns out learning from old books on limit and old people playing limit makes you a bit tight – something I have since over corrected. Because of this I feel a special responsibility when I introduce people to poker – sometimes I’ll be giving them a new hobby, sometimes I’ll be boring them, sometimes I’ll be beginning their slow slide into the all consuming poker void.

Last week I went to Israel to do some work for an online site. Going there was an adventure…and an unexpected delight. I had a good flight on El Al (though the toilets were constantly ‘occupied’); once there the people are extremely friendly, the climate is perfect – as are the beaches – and the Tel Aviv nightlife is great. I’d happily go for a holiday (they have almost unlimited humus) – it’s very different from the representations we see in our media (you’re not shocked are you?)

Part of my work there was teaching a big group of people to play. My group of young poker wannabes were fun and a bit challenging. Israeli’s tend to be very direct; if they have a question they’ll ask you and sometimes it sounds like a statement. After a period of cross cultural adjustment I set about convincing them poker wasn’t gambling. This was partly because I like to teach people the truth from the outset and partly because professional gamblers are frowned upon in Jewish law and I wanted to be accepted. All in all it was a great week and I think I successfully created several new addicts in a foreign land. The interesting thing is that when you teach people poker, wherever it is, several types emerge. So for your reading pleasure here’s the types I see all the time; see which one you were….

The ‘I don’t get it’s’…
These included those who haven’t been listening, don’t care or are totally credulous. They don’t get the rules, don’t get what a flush is, don’t get what a heart is. Strangely one of the things that happens a lot is that when people learn they think a flush or straight can be four cards. It’s important not to point this out to them until the end of the hand… hey it’s the only way they’ll learn.

The ‘I need to see what I would have had’
A certain section of the population just can’t bare to throw their hand away at any stage. The idea that they might have won and missed out fills them with dread. Sometimes these types are naturally this way sometimes they are created by throwing away something like Jack-three early in their first ever game and the flop coming Jack-Jack-Three… they’ll never make that mistake again.

Relax…. ‘It’s happy families’
Some people want it all to be friendly co-opreative and nice. They feel pleased for other people when they have a winning hand. Want to see other people’s cards and don’t bet too much with a big hand because they don’t want to take their friends chips. Sadly for humanity this group is very small.

The natural
Everyone once in a while you’ll come across someone with innate card sense. They don’t know the fundamentals of the game as they just learnt the rules but their instincts are uncanny. You can spot these because they play with a dealer button carved from a tree struck by lightening outside their bedroom (extra points if you get that ludicrously obscure book/film reference).

The ‘I think I’m a natural‘
Most teachers will tell you it’s the law of nature that whenever more than 15 people are gathered together in one learning group one will emerge who is – and this is a technical educational term – a cocky twat. In teaching poker this is always someone who has played ‘a bit’. Because there knowledge is slightly ahead of the group they will start advising their table and explaining to other people when they’ve played ‘wrong’. They are really really really great fun.

The bluffer
Usually there will be one or two in the group who can’t stop bluffing. They’ll play every hand and usually they’ll raise. Interestingly – and I’m still not sure why – when they bluff they’ll usually raise the minimum. Also interestingly they are often female. I have not read anything into this.

The ‘whats the correct thing to do here’ brigade
These people are good at learning suff; but learn by strict rules. As such they grasp how to play quickly but then get very confused by the fact that for every thing you should do in poker there’s a situation where you should do the opposite. (It’s with some shame I have to add myself to the last group).
Finally there is a subset to this group called the ‘what if’ brigade. These will have grasped that poker is a situational game and so they will explore fully each and every situation. What if he had King-Queen instead, what if he wasn’t all in, what if he’s bluffing, what if I’m getting slightly under pot odds but may have implied odds and aren’t sure…..

To which the answer should always be – ‘sorry I’d loovvve to help you further but I’m only paid for the day and the beach is calling’.

Armed with these cautionary notes go forth and spread the poker word to those who have not encountered it’s magnificent truths. Remember… we always need fresh meat.

Originally published in Poker Player magazine.

Related Content:

1. Training For Vegas You’ll forgive me if I’m a little distracted this month. The thing is I’m...