Poker Addiction

I’ve been asked many times by people who don’t play if I have a gambling problem. Of course I can confidently reply that I don’t. Fortunately very few of them ask the correct question – are you addicted to poker? That one would be trickier. If pressed my defence is a simple one either a) I have to play its for work (hey we all have to sacrifice for our careers right). Or b) I make money at it so how can it be a problem? However if I’m honest the title of this column contains no irony whatsoever. I don’t view it as an addiction though just the thing that I love to do – the slight problem is I do sometimes have a problem stopping.

One night recently I’d got in from working all day. It was a Saturday and having left the house early in the morning and not returned until just before midnight I felt robbed of my weekend. The little voice in the back of my head was busy rationalising as I walked in the door. Yes you’re exhausted, yes you’re supposed to write tomorrow but it’s Saturday night – think of all the juicy games plus… you deserve it.

After a long period of conflict and internal dilemma (this didn’t happen for those not paying attention) I logged on to my favourite site and fired up a couple of tables. I planned to play for a couple of hours just on two tables – maybe 500 hands then bed.

Relaxation over took me as the demanding world slipped away and was replaced by bright cards, diminishing time bars and the endless poker decisions. After an hour or so I was a little up with minimal drama then the car crash came.

I was dealt QQ, raised up and got 3 bet from the small blind. Now I knew this payer very well; had plenty of stats and even notes on him from a previous session. He was a tight player and wasn’t re-raising me without a hand. I raised again which is pretty standard knowing it would give him a tough decision with most of his hands. He almost instantly shoved. At this point he might as well have flipped over his cards to show me the Kings or Aces. There was just a tiny chance of him having anything else so I should fold…right…right?! For some reason my hand drifted over the mouse and clicked the call button. Whether it was tiredness, bloody mindedness or what I don’t know but it was a horrible mistake – I mean what was I doing – I had notes!!

As he showed me his Aces and I stacked off to him it caused an almost physical reaction like a little bomb going off in my head. I was absolutely disgusted with myself. I mean I know much better than to just call off chips like that when I know a player is being totally transparent about their hand.
I decided that my play was completely unacceptable and I deserved to be punished. I got up from both my tables and began opening tables a limit below where I was playing.

In the end I had between 6 and 8 tables open and the decisions were coming fast and furious now. No longer was this the relaxed end of day poker bubble bath; now it was a end of day poker war with myself. I wouldn’t describe it as tilting – I was still thinking clearly about the playing decisions – it was more ‘competitive tilt’. I was determined to make the money back, to prove my superiority over these virtual monkeys and – most of all – prove to myself I could still actually play the game.

I ran badly for the first hour before I started making some hands and building up. Maybe a couple of hours in to this multi-tabling madness I was ahead for the night but I didn’t stop … actually it didn’t even occur to me to stop. Sometimes when you play poker you can slip into an almost dream like state where you’re making decisions about the game and nothing else; like a meditation. This is one of the things that I’ve always loved about playing. As I sat there playing and night turned to day, my flatmate got up had breakfast and went out, Saturday turned to Sunday and I missed church. You could have filmed me playing and speeded up the world behind changing as I sat staring.

It should be noted sessions like this are basically a really bad idea. Everyone will tell you it’s best to play short focussed sessions and of course they’re right. But it’s like being told to eat healthily, get lots of exercise and plenty of sleep – yes it’s right but it’s such a drag. In this session once I started multi-tabling I hit some hands and started winning on a few tables. ‘Playing from the front’ counter acts some of the disadvantages of playing a long session or playing tired. Having a good image at the table, especially against weaker players who will play more timidly against you, makes a big difference. So there you are there were solid strategic reasons to just…keep…playing – honest.

In the final analysis my couple of hour 500 hand session had spiralled into a 4000+ hand session lasting til 10am the next morning. Oh and I finished 4 buy ins up…which is always nice. It’s important to understand this is not an addiction – its just something I like to do … a lot.

Originally published in Poker Player magazine.

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