Poker Books & DVDs Reviews

Bruce Lee and the round table

“To become immortal, one must first live a life worth remembering.”

I think Bruce Lee said that, or at least stole it from someone more ‘wordy’ and brought it to the mainstream (and by mainstream I mean ‘anyone who saw the film DRAGON’). Anyway, it made me look to a more contemporary version, which is: “To blog, one must first have a life worth remarking upon”. And that’s my problem right now – I’m dull as dog dirt, bland as bat bilge, rank as rat’s rectum (you get the general idea). To blog at the moment would just be inflicting my own misery on a wider audience, and Phil Hellmuth appears to already have that market cornered with his own blog.

In the glory days of poker journalism I got to travel the world, interview people I’d never interviewed before, witness things I’d never witnessed before, play in games I’d never played in before, and so on… Now, sadly, I do best part of fek-all on a daily basis.

Trying to make an interesting and witty blog out of “woke up, read my three emails, wallowed in my friends’ successes via Facebook, refreshed my email inbox just in case, played SNGs until 5pm then played Call of Duty until it was time to make dinner”… well, you can see what I mean. It’s not quite at the dullard “woke up, brushed my teeth” level I attained in my acclaimed personal diary of 1981, but it’s pretty damn close.

In an attempt to do something with my life before my legs rot and they put me in a wheelchair, I decided to investigate the local Round Table. Having seen an advert in the local paper that described it as ‘A drinking club for blokes who occasionally have to do something for charity’ I thought I might fit in quite well.

I went along to the first meeting that, though not that Masonic, certainly had a few ‘funny handshake’ moments (without, I’m sad to report, any actual funny handshakes – although I like to think that once I left they shook the crap out of each other’s hands in a ‘funny’ way). There were people who were Chairmen of this and that, one chap who had to stand up and recite the ‘Aims and Objectives’ (a kind of boy scout pledge for children over the age of 25) and a Master at Arms (I shit you not) who reviews the meeting at the end and ‘fines’ people for lapses in behaviour and protocol. It’s only fair to say it was all done very much tongue-in-cheek and with a sense of fun, but it was certainly interesting to see grown men being told off and financially penalized for shouting “fuck!” at each other.

My next encounter with The Table (for ‘tis how it’s referred to once one is ‘in the know’) was the Santa sleigh, which grinds up and down the local streets behind a Range Rover playing loud Xmas music while Santa shouts “ho ho ho!” and waves at kids fizzing with excitement in the windows. Meanwhile a gang from The Table knocks on doors and collects money for the local charities and causes they support throughout the year. I wasn’t sure how I felt about joining in with this as I’m usually the one sitting watching telly in only my socks shouting “bah humbug” when charity collectors visit. However, upon seeing the sleigh I remembered how excited I used to get as a kid when the Upminster version came down our road, and once a few old folk had merrily bunged me a couple of quid with smiles on their faces and I’d witnessed the reaction of the kids down the first street I was well into it!

The activity was, however, not without its own perils. As well as smiling elderly folk and excited young-uns, my town is not without (how shall I put this)… mentals. I’d briefly enjoyed the fantasy of having the door answered by some MILF in a see-through gown who invited me in for more than a mince pie, but the closest I got was one old women who wanted me to feel how warm her hands were (seriously). I told her “I have two pairs of gloves on – I can’t feel anything” but she simply lurched out of her doorway with surprising speed and rubbed her moist, elderly hands up and down my semi-frozen cheeks (my face, MY FACE!) until I agreed that they were indeed very nice warm hands, and could I please go now.

Another door was opened by an enormous and entirely hairless man who stood in nothing but his boxer shorts, holding and eating a plate of baked beans. “Hello!” I merrily blarted despite immediately fearing for my life. “Round Table doing the Christmas collection”. He stared at me silently and scooped another two (yes, two) huge mouthfuls of beans into his bald hole while I stood like a tit in the doorway wondering how long I had to live. “No.” he finally grumbled, “You’re alright”. I screamed off up the road as if someone had set fire to my shins shouting “Merry Christmas!” over my shoulder in case he was chasing me.

Behind door number three was an old lady who I’d seen sitting (presumably dead) in her chair through the front window as I tried to get up the snow-covered ramp that lead to the door without sliding down it like some extra out of Indiana Jones. I now know access ramps are the 2-7 of charity collecting. Houses covered entirely in flashing Xmas decorations are trips, and any house with kids’ bikes and toys outside is the jackpot. I got to the top of the treacherous slope feeling like I’d just completed an ice level in Zelda, and reluctantly pressed the bell. The Tablers had told me to give ample time for old folks or people who lived in the back of their houses (why DO people do that?) to answer. However, after about three minutes I was starting to worry about the police finding her dead broken body clutching a 10p piece in the hallway ALL BECAUSE OF ME!

I could see her chair was empty, knew she must be on her way, and had to wait. After five more minutes she opened the door. “Round Table!” I beamed trying to make it worth the epic two-room trek she’d been on. “Oh,” she said, “I thought you were my carer. Have you got my dinner?” Oh. Fuck. “No, sorry – I’m collecting for the Round Table”. “Oh,” She said, “I thought you were my carer. Have you got my dinner?” Oh. Fuck. Again. What to do? I did have a Snickers bar in my pocket, but to be honest that was already earmarked as my 9pm treat. I opted for the only decent thing a modern chap could do; I ran away. Obviously I didn’t LOOK like I was running away (just in case someone saw me sliding back down the ramp and later shopped me to the body-collecting cops) but I certainly ‘left’ without collecting any money or resolving her problem. One can only hope her ‘carer’ was mere minutes behind and had more than one Snickers bar.

Staying on the ‘ruining old people’s evenings’ front, I also witnessed an old man break the world record for most time taken between opening a front door and opening a porch door. Having stared at me long enough to ascertain I wasn’t a mass murderer, I told him we were doing the Christmas collection, to which he said “you’re a bit late aren’t you?” He looked quite surprised when I told him it was only December 16^th, but he handed over £2 anyway. Exactly what month he thought it was (or indeed what year) I can only imagine, but I certainly didn’t wait to watch him drift back into his house; I was due down the Indian restaurant in two hours.

The avoiders were good. Some would simply stare at you from the comfort of their sofas as if deaf and blind (even thought they were watching telly) while others would dive out of the front room and lie prone on the carpet in the hallway with the lights out. I took to opening the letter box, making eye contact with their frozen bodies and whispering “have a nice Christmas”.

Others would say things like “No, you’re alright” or “don’t worry” before closing the door, while the more creative would say “I don’t have any change” and then pat their trouser pockets. I told one person that if he patted his pockets before saying he had no change it would be much more convincing. I thought he might be insulted, but he looked genuinely grateful for the tip. I’m sure next year will be even less expensive for him thanks to that nugget.

One of the last excuses of the night was particularly involved, with a women turning on all the lights in the house, pulling up her trouser leg, and showing me an ENORMOUS scar (that sadly was not visible to the human eye) that accompanied a story about being off work, hospital bills, £200 a month, etc etc. It was only when she patted her pockets and said she had no change I believed her.

Anyway, that’s my poker blog. Sorry there was no actual poker, but it’s the thought that counts eh! For the record we made just under £400 for 2.5 hours walking, and I had the Chicken Shashlik with pilau rice and sag aloo. The Snickers bar remains uneaten in my coat pocket, and I check the local papers every day to see if she’s dead yet.

Merry Christmas!

On The Rail Podcast #28 Released

Dear On The Rail Member,

For a limited time you’ll have exclusive access to the newest edition of the On The Rail podcast!

On The Rail 28 comes to you from Galway and event 1 of the first ever season of the U.K. and Ireland Poker Tour. We talk about the new tour and plans for more On The Rail shows from each event. Also there’s a fascinating interview with young U.K. poker star JP Kelly whose impressive CV includes two WSOP bracelets in 2009. There’s also a bit of poker strategy with a hand from the event’s final table.

You’ll need a password access it on the site, this month it’s : immersion

Click here to listen:

http://www.ontherail.co.uk/podcasts/on-the-rail/on-the-rail-28/

Since the last On The Rail Nick has been confirmed as the host of the new U.K. and Ireland Poker Tour sponsored by Pokerstars.com. The role involves producing media for the tour to include a new web show ‘On Tour’ and several new On The Rail podcasts. He’ll also be acting as a liaison between the players and poker stars so you can let him know any thoughts or concerns you have about the tour to improve it.

The tour is supposed to be accessible to all, with low buy ins and very low satellite entry fees, but with a big time event feel when you play the events –check it out and get involved. Nick will be at the next event in Manchester in early February so we hope we’ll see as many of you there as possible.

That’s it for this edition of the newsletter – go grab that podcast now!

Best,

Nick and the team @

http://www.ontherail.co.uk

On The Rail #28

On The Rail 28 comes to you from Galway and event 1 of the first ever season of the U.K. and Ireland Poker Tour. We talk about the new tour and plans for more On The Rail shows from each event.

Also there’s a fascinating interview with young U.K. poker star JP Kelly whose impressive CV includes two WSOP bracelets in 2009. There’s also a bit of poker strategy with a hand from the event’s final table.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (43.7MB)

UK and Ireland Poker tour fun

Hope you’re well and enjoying the 17 week run up to Jesus’ birthday.

I’ve just come back from the first UKIPT event in Galway. (that’s U K and Ireland poker tour for those who aren’t sure – it’s a poker stars tour).

I’m working on the tour as tour ‘host’. To me it sounds like I should wear a burgundy smoking jacket and great everyone with a stiff brandy on arrival. Actually that sounds kinda cool…. maybe I’ll pitch that.

To be honest I’m really excited to be doing the job. Stars do a great job of their tours and hopefully this one will be a big boost to U K poker. It has buy ins that are accessible – or easily satelliteable to – but they will also be really prestigious events to win I think.

Part of my job is to relay what players think and want back to Stars so do get in touch if you’re interested in the tour or if you’ve played Galway or satellites and let me know any questions or feedback you have.

I’ll also be doing a ton of media stuff for the tour including a podcast and a new web show called ‘on tour’ which is partly poker magazine show and partly me titting about – aces!

Galway was great. Good atmosphere, top venue and a really high standard tournament. I have no idea how some of the Irish players drink and party like they do and still play well – but they clearly do. I’m such a lightweight, one Coors light with lunch and I’m ready to fall asleep face forwards on my chips.

Also this is my second poker trip to Ireland this year and both times the friendlieness of everyone and the atmosphere has been fantastic. You hate to slip in to cliché but it’s hard to find a bad word to say about the hospitality over there.

My poker’s going pretty well. I had one of those brutal PLO downswings recently so haven’t updated much on here – all too depressing. But I’m now enjoying the flip side which is a 20 buy in up swing (yay) and feel like I’ve really improved my game by working and focussing…..and catching some cards

I’ll do a playing blog soon and through some hands in – it is PLO but hopefully it’ll still be interesting.

There were Christmas trees and lights everywhere in Galway which is nice and all but I’ve never been able to get into Christmas until about the 23^rd – sorry I love it but I love it for 4 days not 40. Also I’m old school it starts when I go back to my family home not really before.

In other news I’m super “stoked” as the kids say to see Avatar. Ever since I heard Cameron was planning this I knew he’d deliver something we hadn’t seen before – I’ll be there on Saturday night with 3D glasses on and chocolate raisins in hand as excited as a 10 year old…. Now that’s the real meaning of Christmas.

I’m Isuldur1 and so’s my poker playing wife

Apologies for not “blogging” for a while. I haven’t been doing too much of substance the last couple of weeks…

….but enough about me what about this Isuldur malarkey?

Just in case you’ve been living in a poker free world for the last three weeks you’ve missed some of the most amazing events in the history of the game/sport/big gambling laugh.

Quick potted history…

A young Swedish player – whose identity still isn’t 100% confirmed brought a bankroll over to Full Tilt from some of the euro sites. He started cleaning house against the 25/50 regulars before quickly moving up and going on one of the biggest heaters in online poker history.

At his peak he won a ludicrous $5 million in 10 days – including doing the unthinkable and kicking Durrs ass at NL Holdem for over 2 million. Of course he has now fallen to earth.

I’ve written about positive tilt a lot and this clearly happened to Isuldur as he started playing PLO (he still seems great at the game but not as good as NL) and started playing the best in the world simultaneously.

Last night he lost over 3 million (including the biggest pot in online history at over 1.3 million) playing Phil Ivey and Patrick Antonious heads up on 5 or 6 tables at the same time. Playing either of these two at poker can generally be described as ‘a bad tactical move’ – but playing them heads up at the same time at not your best game at 500/1000 blinds with a 200k buy in on each table. Well let’s just say Isuldur must carry his balls around in a wheel barrow.

It’s been quite something to watch. And I have no shame in admitting that for the first time in my life I’ve been a railbird.

It’s not an exaggeration to say that this week or two of online poker will be remembered for years and years to come. Up there with the classic heaters and matches in poker history.

Quite where Isuldur will land in terms of poker ability and longevity who knows. That’s not really the point, the point is the excitement and eye popping money that it brought to the game – online, accessible to everyone. Before the internet rare games like this happened almost in secret – now you can see every hand history.

The real sadness of it is that these stakes online and this level of competition will rarely happen again.

High stakes games will slowly die as players discover each others level and, as has already happened at No Limit, refuse to play each other.

And who really is going to put millions on the line against the best like this again?

I hope I’m wrong but I think the last year or so will be seen in the future as the golden age of internet poker.

I don’t know if I’m in awe of Isuldur’s gambling balls and fearless play or derisive of his lack of self management and disdain for money….probably all of that.

Warsaw, Warsaw!

Geez, its been a while! Im an awful blogger. Promised Id be regular, and here I am, feeling bad about myself but never find time to write. I promise I’ll be better, Nick!:)

Its been a hellish month, traveled to Croatia three times in a row now, done tons of interviews, meetings and got my next gig which I’m superexcited about! About three weeks a go I got called from Unibet to do presenting for their vblogs in Warsaw and I was so excited, my heart almost stopped. Besides the fact that I’m gonna be on camera, which I love (ah all the girls do!), I am going to visit Warsaw. Heard so many great things about that city, I cant wait to pack my suitcases and go. I’ve spent half of the afternoon staring at the hotel were staying in – the pool was AMAZING! Definitely going to need some relaxation after hours and hours of interviews and dress changing:)

As far se poker goes, I am very pleased to say that we have yet another team that will attack Warsaw and this time we are going for the Final Table! 5 Croats are ready and trained to make it very far, we showed that we are very dangerous when we played in Prague and now its only a matter of time before one of the Croatians hits big time.

Im open for any tips on Warsaw tho, nightlife or day-life and especially shopping. So, stay tuned, I promise I’ll be regular with my updates from Poland!

xx

T

Dublin up

I popped over to Dublin at the weekend to play in the BoylePoker IPO. I nearly backed out with a bad cold, but glad I made the trip. The $250 NLHE main event was good fun, despite not cashing, and was another marker by which I could measure how much my live game has come on. I felt like I played pretty well for the first few levels but never got the right spots to chip up and make a deep run. Ah well, that’s how some tourneys go.

Then I tried my luck in my first ever live PLO tourney. The 165 euro buy-in was probably too big to enter for a first tournament but I did pretty well and although I made some fundamental errors and probably played too tight it was a learning experience and a fun one too. Will definitely have to play more soon. I may even play a bit more online.

But what made the weekend worthwhile was meeting up with some fellow On the Railers and just having a great time chatting, drinking and hanging out together. It felt like being on holiday rather than heading out to a poker tournament – and made for a refreshing change from many other festivals I’ve visited recently.

The funny thing about playing live is that I sort of enjoy it when I’m there but I always get the itch to get back online. I feel comfortable in my flat, with hoody on and mug of tea in hand, clicking away furiously across four tables and feeling totally in the zone. I know I have to play more to improve and make some money. I’ve been neglecting the game a bit recently so I’m going to aim to put in some cash hands this week and then have a day of tourneys on Sunday. Hopefully I’ll run good and win big. I feel ready for some success…

bubblin dublin

What is up and so forth…

Just got back from a really fun weekend in Dublin at the Boyles Irish Poker Open.

These weekends are awesome – like the Virgin Poker Festival and APAT events they’re the present and future … we need more.

Mass participation tournaments with affordable buy ins and a good prize that can change a casual players bankroll are great for poker. And if they have a top atmosphere around them like this one they make an aw

This tournament is huge and if you weren’t there this year you need to get involved next time. I think there were 1300 plus runners which meant that for jus a $250 buy in you could win a $60k plus first prize.

Obviously I came really close but got bad beated near the big money….. That or I lasted a grand total of 28 minutes. Which is … you know….. shit but wahddayagonnado

My Kings ran into Aces and that was me all done. I did this in a Teddy KGB accent ‘Eiy Feel So UnSchatisfied

I retired to my room to play online before the cash games and fun started in the evening where I watched my beloved LFC lose to a goal scored by a beach ball…that’s proper running bad!

Actually I ran bad all weekend live and made up for it online. My friends – a lot of the on the rail bloggers…you know who they are – also ran bad. However that did very little to dampen the weekend. We had a good ‘craic’ – which I’m told is a real thing.

Dublin was a lot of fun but weekends like this one remind me it’s really who you’re with that’s important we could have been in a 5 star exclusive beach club or a caravan park in a rainy Paignton it wouldn’t have mattered.

I’ve eaten and drunk a bit too much of good stuff lately (ie things that are bad for you) – so I’m going on a health kick until December and the Christmas onslaught. It’s actually fun doing this after a lot of abuse – also good for your poker! At least that’s what I’m telling myself…. Got to have some compensation for giving up the good stuff.

Belated Update

Long time no post, despite a couple of slaps on the wrist from Mr Wealthall, sorry Nick.

So the challenge update, barring some major binkage in a tournament i’m going to fall short of the $50k target, I suspect i’ll end up somewhere around $40k up for the year. Which whilst it will be an improvement on 2008 both in terms of bottom line and roi, will not be $50k. I’m currently just over $33,000 up for the year, but will be spending most of November in Vegas (mbn etc). Heading over there to play most of the Venetian Deepstacks festvial. BlackBelt Poker are putting me into $3k woth of events and have sold some shares in two other events. In all liklehood i’ll play about 8-$10x$330 events  (depending on how many day twos i make) and 2x$550. Realistically i’m hoping for two cashes and one deep run. I’ll also be buying into some evening events in the $60-$150 range and will play some cash if at all possible. Will be out there for the WSOP final table, which I’ve got a media pass for so will be working/railing that.

Back to the challenge for a moment, it was always going to be steep to succeed, and an effective six weeks taken out for the BlackBelt Grading process meant that for that period of time I was playing in games (sit and gos as opposed to satellites) where my hourly rate was far lower than expected. Coupled with a lazy June, and a poor September and the low volume i’ll be putting in during November and December and there’s no doubt i’ll fall short. There’s always next year!

I’d like to thank Nick for giving me the opportunity to write this blog at On the Rail, barring a cash chirp in Vegas or a big mtt score between now and December31st this will be the last update, i’ll just have to think of another challenge for 2010.

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